Brother and Sister

"I'm sorry. My brother's using it right now." This was Agatha to another child who wanted the shovel in a sandbox scrum the other evening. I'd never before heard her refer to Henry as "her brother" when speaking to another child. It's hard to put into words the warm and fuzzy feeling it gave me.

This has been the summer of becoming real playmates, maybe even friends. Earlier this week, they spent all afternoon building forts in Henry's room filled with pillows, blankets and stuffed animals which they were planning to sleep in. Henry chickened out at the last moment, choosing his comfy bed instead, but Agatha, undaunted, slept on the floor in his room. And did it again the next night. They took a night off last night, but this morning Michael heard Henry say, "Aggie, do you want to sleep together again tonight?"

Henry also takes responsibility for Agatha more lately. This week she's developed the habit of protesting when I (but not Michael!) drops her off at morning day camp. So on the way to camp today, Henry was instructing her in the back seat: "Now, when we get there, you don't whine or cry or say you're tired. You get out and walk in, and I'll see you later on the playground, okay? If you're tired, you should rest longer in your room, so you have good energy for camp." To which Agatha responded: "I'm tired."

Henry: "We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. With the easy way, you get to walk in with me. With the hard way, you'll be crying and have to go in with the teacher. Which way do you want to do it?" Agatha: "The hard way." Henry, musingly: "I thought you were going to say the easy way." Mommy, thinking: Rookie mistake.

People have asked me if the kids will miss each other this year, not being at the same school anymore, at which I have always scoffed. But now I think they really might.

Dutch Wonderland

Back-to-back adventures

High Line Park, NYC

Looking respectable, at the Met in NYC

gorgeous boy

Klondike bar

gorgeous boy, part 2

gorgeous boy, part 3

super-Agatha, to the rescue?

The beach was great-- of course! The house was right on the beach, just over the dunes, and the water was warm, calm, and shallow (although kind of muddy). It was so comfortable, with a separate bedroom for everyone and even air conditioning and a dishwasher, and so quiet, in a tiny beach community between a huge wildlife refuge and the shore, that after a week I really wasn't ready to leave. We had visits from my mom, and from our friends Meagan and Mike and family, and the house accommodated us all, with beautiful tall windows looking out on the water and sky. Usually I'm eager to get back home, but this was the rare vacation where I could have stayed longer. We had such a nice routine of swimming in the morning, then having lunch and doing activities, crafts, or reading during the heat of the day, naptime, and then a late afternoon beach time, followed by dinner and an early bed. No media, no noise. It just felt so healthy and relaxing. When we first arrived and saw the amazing view and the beautiful house, I felt such a wave of pride that we could provide this experience for our children, and for ourselves. It's not glamorous or exotic-- just an ordinary bourgeois summer vacation-- but I loved it.

While we were there we got an email from a friend who lives in New York City, asking if we wanted to come and cat-sit for them while they were away. So we returned home (in a blistering heat wave) on Saturday; I canned 23 quarts of applesauce on Monday and Tuesday, and then we went to New York on Wednesday, staying till Saturday evening. New York was wonderful, of course, but unfortunately the kids chose that prime moment to develop stomach bugs. There were some gruesome nights. Oy! But we did what we came to do: saw the McQueen show at the Met (my former student who works there whisked us in without waiting in the hours-long line); met another former student for dinner way downtown at the seaport; even went to the Cloisters Museum uptown, where we'd never been before, and the new High Line Park. All very cool, and not particularly kid-friendly, except for the park and its excellent hipster popsicle stand. We stayed at a beautiful renovated loft in the Bronx, which felt quite friendly and safe. After a couple of days, people were greeting us like regulars. Of course, we did stand out quite a bit! Not only were we unusually pale and blond, but we were going around as a family unit, tourists, where most people were commuting to work or something. So we-- and the kids especially-- got a lot of attention, all of it positive.

As I'd noticed in May at the Philadelphia Art Museum, Henry is starting to actually enjoy (or at least, not completely hate) the museum. He lit up in the antiquities section, and we specifically took him to see the mummies, tombs, and Temple of Dendur. He recognized all the sphinxes in the antiquities, and then when we were walking past an Ingres in the 19th-century wing, he shouted "Another sphinx!" And it was-- a painting this time. And at the Cloisters (all medieval art; we sold it to the children by telling them we were going to a real castle, which it is, reassembled by Rockefeller in the 1930s) he liked finding all the "hidden" elements in the tapestries. But their tummies hurt and their tempers were short, and by Saturday afternoon we were spent. It was hard, hard work being in New York with two small, cranky people.

Frankly, I've just about had it with the family fun! Bring on the school year, please! In fact, first thing Monday morning, after our return home, I took the kids out shopping for backpacks and lunchboxes. Today, we bought Henry new shoes, and his uniforms should arrive on Friday. Just two scheduled family-fun excursions remain: tomorrow, Dutch Wonderland, and Saturday, a day trip to go canoeing and to an Amish country auction with friends (downsized from a camping trip, thank goodness). Then, it'll be two weeks of morning camp for the kids and back into the office for me! (hooray!!!)

Mid-summer update

Henry and Frances at the theater!

Frances, reading to the other children

Toddler plank pose

She's even got the fashionista pout. This is Agatha wearing my new birthday necklace from my mom. "Look, Mommy, we got a present! Let's open it! We can share it..."

An update from the depths of midsummer...

It is July, so we are all off from work and school and camp. The first couple of days we got our bearings, and now we are deep into the routine of playing around the house, doing workbooks, and having small outings. One good thing about having small kids is that the scale of outings that interest them is also small. Many days we just have a visit to the local natural history museum (walking distance), an ice cream cone (two places, each a block and a half away), and maybe a trip around the block to visit Gran. A big day will entail a longer walk to the library. We did take Henry to his first-ever live theater (indoor) performance, and that was super-duper. I've also promised a trip to the local theme park, Dutch Wonderland, sometime during the break. And tomorrow we leave for a week at the beach, our big adventure of the summer.

Agatha is potty training! It really demonstrates my own laziness; as soon as I took her diaper off and got out the potty and said we were going to use it today, she did. Hasn't had a single accident so far. Here she is having a potty party with her friend, Holly.

When we return from the beach, it will be time to can applesauce and then, soon, peaches and tomatoes! We'll have two days in New York City at the end of the month, one night camping (!) in Juniata County at the beginning of August, and then the slow return to routine will begin: two weeks of morning camp for the kids while Michael and I work on our syllabi and get things done in the office. Henry's first day of kindergarten at his new school is August 25. (I am beyond excited about it.) Agatha starts after Labor Day.

Meanwhile, I am relishing the slow pace and spending lots of time together. I can see how much sweeter we all are and how well we all get along when we are not rushing or pushing to get much of anything done. It will be a challenge to hold on to that when late August rolls around, but I resolve to try as much as possible.

Running around

Henry and his friend, Lia, at the Red Rose Run

Henry is that blue streak in the center; Michael is running alongside on the sidewalk

Agatha, "making soup"

On her own initiative, she went and got the soup cookbook, picked some clover from the yard, got out the pan and a spoon and "cooked" it, then served us some in a bowl.

Another Agatha initiative: this was her chosen outfit for camp last week.

We went up to the Berkshires for five days (no pictures; forgot the camera!) and then Michael went to Montreal for a conference. So there's been a lot of running around! In between, the kids are going to morning day-camp and I am trying to finish up an essay and a book review. By July 1, we'll all take a break for some unstructured time.

Agatha's imagination is flowering. Her imaginary friend, Coyote, has a response or reaction to everything lately. Henry's had a rough couple of days; I think the new school anxiety is finally hitting him. He's still attending his old school (for camp), but it is different-- a different set of teachers, kids, and activities. Yet he knows he'll be starting a new school in the fall. "I don't wanna go to camp! It's just too weird!" he wailed yesterday. He's grouchy and out of sorts. I've been working hard to use my "aikido parenting" inspired by my friend, an aikido master-- don't resist, blend; try to use your antagonist's energies to turn into a more beneficial direction. It is great advice and very effective, but sometimes I still get worn down! My antagonist uses a lot of force.

Al rescate, amigos!

Agatha's been watching a lot of "Diego" lately. I'm not too proud of it, but on the other hand the Netflix on demand is a pretty wonderful thing for helping Mommy get through the day! She gets to watch one in the morning when she wakes up, one after waking from naptime, and usually another one at some other critical moment. Her love of Diego has translated into her speaking some words in Spanish and concocting various schemes for rescuing animals in trouble. She loves to shout out, "al rescate, amigos!" and head off running. This morning she ran all way to her preschool, stopping only at the crosswalks. Seriously, that's seven-tenths of a mile! (or so says Google maps) The whole way she was talking about the roadrunners having a race and rescuing the pygmy marmoset and so on. But the cutest thing is to hear her count in Spanish, which she can do up to 10: "uno, dos, trays, kwat-roh..." It sounds like Scooby Doo speaking Spanish.

Speaking of numbers, Henry is learning multiplication! He brought home worksheets he'd filled out with the times 2s, 3s, and 4s ("Ones are just too easy, Mom.") At the Montessori school they use beads to calculate the multiplication and get a visual grasp on the concepts; the worksheets are just the traces of that process in the classroom. Pretty neat. Next year it looks like we will be transferring him to a high-powered, more traditional-format private school, about which we are both excited and anxious. I'm glad he's had four years to learn in this more hands-on and play-based Montessori way, but I think he's ready for more rigor and structure. We'll see.

Besides multiplication Henry is also very interested in time right now. He has a clock that speaks the current time when a button is pressed, and he has certain "favorite times" that he likes the clock to speak out to him: 7:11 is the most beloved, but also the palindromic 12:51, and the hilarious 5:55 and 4:44 and so on. He has figured out that his clock happens to be set about 3 minutes fast, so when he sees it is 7:08 in the kitchen he races upstairs to hear his clock say "seven-eleven, a.m.," which gives him great satisfaction.

bathroom spruce-up

Last week, Michael was away at Dartmouth doing work with the Maxfield Parrish archive in their library. He was actually gone for 9 full days, people! I decided to spend that week giving our tired old yellow bathroom a facelift, since we'd be out of our normal routine anyway, and I'd have to work around one fewer person. I did most of the work while the kids were at preschool in the mornings, and my mom helped out tremendously, picking them up most days and loaning me her car to go out and buy supplies. I know it doesn't look much improved in the pictures below, but you have to imagine that the walls and ceiling were peeling from old water damage, so even though it's still just white, it's much cleaner, brighter, and nicer. And above: Agatha and Henry in their double-wide "house" on the front porch. Notice the shrewd use of a structural beam above! Everyone was into home improvements last week, I guess.

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