Memorial Day weekend

Where did this big girl come from, and what has she done with my baby?

Strawberry season

Michael has been in Boston all weekend, and the kids and I have done pretty well together! Henry did get in trouble at school for the first time ever on Thursday-- for the same kind of attitude and temper he's been displaying at home-- but that has proved to be the death-knell of this particular bout of difficult behavior. His teachers said he's been "trying out some new behaviors," and that he's found an older boy in class who has things to teach him! But when he saw the teachers and me talking, it was like he knew the game was up. He's been much more back to his more tender, loving, sunny self this weekend, with only sporadic thundershowers. We did some fun projects together, like setting up our front porch for sitting, and yesterday we took a long day-trip to visit our friends in Annapolis MD, where we played in a variety of pools and had a generally excellent time. Today was supposed to be a big block party and BBQ, but unfortunately REAL thundershowers and torrential rains came out of nowhere to squelch it. Still, I'm pleased and proud with how well we managed together (with some crucial help from Gran!).

Agatha is a constant chatterbox now, and says many little sentences, which I promise myself I'll remember and then promptly forget. Some of them: "I need help!" "Egg, right now! Maybe little tiny, maybe little too hot. No, it's good." "Aggie do! Aggie do!" "Readabook, readabook." "Pool, slide down! Swingy, Aggie swingy, back and forth, back and forth." She likes to put "ie" or "y" at the end of many words, like mitten ("mitny"). And she is crazy for all kinds of animals right now, and likes to both say their names and their sounds: "Doggie arf arf! Piggie oink oink. Roo-er cockleooleoooo." Birds are still a favorite, and she likes to name the kind of bird and note that it belongs to the bird category also-- penguins, flamingos, swans...

The pool is open!

It was a hot, sunny day today, so after lunch and (brief) naptime, I got out the kiddie pool. Wow! You would not have believed the hysterical laughter, horseplay, and hilarity. Henry kept sliding into Agatha and knocking her down, and she would just pop up, hair sopping, and say "Okay, Aggie okay!" as if to reassure me. After an hour or so of naked pool time, the boys next door came home from school and got out their crazy waterhose contraption, which made for another hour of fun. Again, Agatha was right in there with the big boys, squirting her hose. She only protested when she got squirted in the eyes, but she didn't want to leave the scene, even then. Exhaustion bonus: both kids asleep in bed by 6:45 pm!

New slang: when Henry's crocs get damp and he tries to put them on, he says with disgust, "Aw, man! My shoes are squeakin' wet!"

And on a lighter note...

Henry can now shimmy up any pole. He climbs up the firemen poles at the playground, and enjoys climbing up my wardrobe rack and sitting on the top shelf.

Behavior Issues

We're having them. Agatha is now a typical toddler, with a pitch-perfect "Noooo!" And Henry... I remember at a party on April 4 telling a friend how fun and easy the kids were, how Henry had entered a new stage where he was conscious of others' feelings, and how much easier and more pleasant it was to get along with someone who cares about your feelings... well, that phase is over! Typical incident yesterday: I tell Henry for the 500th time not to climb and swing on the gate, and then he climbs and swings on the gate. "Don't swing on the gate!" I say, to which he replies, "STOP IT! Poop Butt! You're NOT my FRIEND!!!" and storms off. There's just a lot of anger and very short fuses, not to mention 54 annoying behaviors before breakfast.

What's most stressful for me is not knowing how to deal with it. If this is "just a phase," then I should be trying to minimize the situations where blow-ups occur, ignore it as much as possible, and try to get through it. But if this is in some way "real" behavior, then it's my job as his mom to set limits, stick with them, show him what is appropriate, etc. Deciding which of these scenarios is the case dramatically affects how I respond: ignoring versus warning and time-outs, for instance. It's just not so simple to know where to draw the line and how firmly to enforce the line. Violence is over the line, of course. But what about toilet talk at the dinner table? What about putting his shoes on Gran's wall ("But, Mom, I was just trying to rest?")? If I policed every annoying thing right now our heads would explode.

I've noticed in past difficult phases that challenging new behavior often emerges alongside wonderful new behavior or capabilities. Henry is clearly struggling with right and wrong, with friendship and kindness and how to be a good person. Yesterday he was writing in his little notebook and asking: "Mom, how do you write 'Spiderman'? How do you spell 'nice' and 'kindness'? How do you write 'no violence'?" I read his little book later and it said (this is with the spelling cleaned up): "Henry 2010. Carter. Love. I like Carter. Friends [frenz]. :) :) :) Carter. Henry." And on another page: "Henry lied. Carter. Mommy. Spring. Love. The End. Peace. Love People. Nice Kindness. Carter Henry."

What struggles must be raging in his mind and heart right now?!?

p.s. advice welcome

His scholarly side

Henry has two new workbooks-- one at Gran's house, and one at our house-- and he can do word unscrambles, word searches, and crossword puzzles all by himself, as long as there is a picture or a word list to help him figure out each word. This morning he got up at 6 am to go to the bathroom and then went back into his room. When we checked on him half an hour later, he was doing his workbook in bed.

I don't think Michael and I talk much about our work at home, but Henry has still gotten the idea from our academic circles that grown-ups study things, and that we study art. About six months ago, he said, "Guess what kind of art I'm going to study when I'm grown up? Pictures of trains!" Now he has branched out to studying all kinds of things. A couple of days ago, I was sitting outside reading Vanity Fair while Aggie napped and Henry played. After a while he asked me for five containers; I went over to see what he was up to. "When I grow up, I'm going to study this plant!" He had taken apart a bunch of the seed pods on the Bleeding Hearts and sorted the seeds into five different typologies by color. After we looked at them for awhile, we realized that they represented five different stages in the seeds' development. We made envelopes for each of the seed types, and Henry numbered them.

Kitchen improvements

We finally decided on, ordered, received, and installed the lights in our "new" kitchen (remodeled 2008). BEFORE:

And AFTER! (It's a subtle change, I know...)

Up in the club... with a Hello Kitty toothbrush

Mom's Day Times Two

We've been a little wiped out lately. After a period where things seemed to be getting easier and easier, with the children playing together independently more and more, we've now entered a period where it is... not so easy. Agatha is ever more lively and loud, and that's certainly part of it. "Aggie do!" "I tell Daddy!" "Cake RIGHT NOW!" You get the picture. So Mother's Day was low-key. I gloried in an excellent yoga class and then we all went out for a sushi lunch ("Sushi RIGHT NOW!"), at which Michael and I ate hardly anything because the children snarfed down the lion's share of the tofu in oyster sauce and spicy salmon rolls. Although we left hungry, it was a delight to see. Then we had my mom over for a tea party after naptime.

And today is Gran's birthday! Henry said we should make her a cake, yell "surprise!" when she came in, sing Happy Birthday, and then he would blow out all the candles, because even though it is not his birthday he LIKES blowing out the candles. And that is just what we did. Happy Birthday, Mom!

Mischief

This is why I haven't been blogging so much lately...

Carnival

Last weekend when Michael was in New York state for our nephew's first communion, we went to a carnival in our neighborhood park. I had successfully avoided it for years, but this year our friend, Laura, called to say she had her granddaughter (and our dearest pal) Frances visiting, and would we like to come along? That was an offer we couldn't refuse, and of course it turned out to be superfun. Frances was very brave and eager for all the rides, and her attitude rubbed off on Henry. They even rode the dragon roller coaster! (In the Small City Department, in this photo above the two boys riding behind Frances now live in her old house in Lancaster; the older one is in Henry's class.)

They rode the mini Ferris Wheel together...

Roller coaster! (Mose, a friend from their toddler class, is in the back of the coaster.)

This was after many choruses of "Aggie ride train!" It was HOT. We were waiting for all the other children to be seated. Just after my mom took this photo, it was, "Aggie all done!" But once the train got moving, she loved it.

At the top of the BIG Ferris Wheel with Grandma Lala in the middle...

A for Aga

Good morning... the children have been taking turns waking up at 5:30 for the last 10 days or so. Today it was Agatha. She's been enjoying drinking out of the water bottle Michael got at the 5K race a couple of weeks ago. As I was making my coffee just now, I heard her say, "A Aga, cup! A Aga, cup!" Yes, she had identified the capital letter A's! This I attribute to her wonderful babysitter, who paints A's with her or cuts A's out of paper and hangs them on the window. Hooray for Agatha!

It's very busy around here

Hearing update

Sorry for the long lay-off on the blogging! Many fine adventures have been had in the interim, and I'll get caught up over the next few days. Michael and Henry are here pictured at the 5K race a couple of weekends ago-- Michael ran his best time and came in 99th overall, out of some 3000 participants! Henry registered for the kid's race, but chickened out at the last minute. "Too many kids, Mama!" But he did glory in his official t-shirt, number, and red sweatband. He promises he's going to run next time.

Here he is, looking a little overwhelmed just before the start.

Our dear friends Eric and Meg came for a visit last week, and we went to the Landis Valley Museum, a collection of old buildings and implements that is a museum to 18th and 19th century life in Lancaster County. The highlight for Agatha was riding in a wagon behind this horse, and getting to touch his nose. The girl is horse crazy! "Aga ride! Aga ride!"

We just got back from taking Henry to the ENT specialist, and the verdict is that one ear is clogged with fluid (uninfected) and other is starting to clear (bubbles in the fluid), which accounts for the fact that we've noticed his hearing has improved in the last couple of days. We came away with the prescription to squeeze saline up his nose and get him to blow up a balloon once a day, in an effort to clear those tubes out. We'll go back in six weeks to check on it.

More soon!