Input, Output, and little bit of the blues

Our little artist at work yesterday: photos taken by her wonderful babysitter, Kendall. Kendall is so creative and loves to do art projects with Agatha, including, here, painting with a golf ball.

The pottying has continued in a somewhat haphazard way; she did say "potty, please!" for the first time a couple of days ago, and then promptly pooped in the potty. But attempts to replicate this success in recognizing and asking in advance have not been too successful. The weaning, though, is proceeding apace. I was planning to do it very gradually, removing one feeding a week, but now that I'm in it, it seems better to just finish more quickly. We're down to about one feeding a day, now. I think there were two signs that this was the right time: one, Agatha's teeth had put several painful and non-healing holes in a sensitive part of my anatomy; and two, she seemed less interested, often breaking off after a few sucks, looking up at me and saying, "hi!" In other words, she's started to seem interested in relating to me in a different way. I was a little sad to put an end to this part of my mothering; it is a powerful thing to grow, birth, and nurse your children, and since I don't plan to have any more, this is really an end to that miraculous bodily performance. But it also seems right, and Agatha is making a series of small adjustments that mark her as a child, rather than a baby: taking a long, deep afternoon nap; sleeping a bit later in the morning and waking up happy and talking, rather than crying; playing independently for long periods; being more physically active and assertive; and doing all kinds of things for herself, from brushing her teeth to spooning her food.

She seems to be adjusting easily to less nursing, although she still asks for it before sleep, but I have experienced several days of the blues, which came as a complete surprise. Henry's weaning was easy and entirely led by him, and I remember no bodily effects, but this time I have felt that distinctive hormonal blues that all women experience from time to time. On the other hand, I had post-partum blues with Henry but not with Agatha. I finally made the connection between my mood and the weaning on Monday, and it was a relief to realize the source and thus the temporariness of my melancholy.

Today, another snow day! This makes three Fridays in a row that Henry's been home; two due to snow and one due to strep throat. Surely, with March rapidly approaching, this historically cold and snowy winter will fade away at last. We've spent it baking and eating scones, cleaning the kids' rooms, playing outside (a little; the wind is bitter!), and cutting half of Henry's hair (hopefully we'll get to the other half soon!). Tonight, dinner at Gran's house: hooray!

What we've been up to

It's been ten days since my last post! Probably no one even checks the blog any more. But here's an update anyway. Turns out Henry's mystery illness was strep throat. We took him to the doc last Monday and he tested negative for it in the office; they sent us home. Then four days later they called and said the lab test was positive. Apparently only 4% of cases are initially negative and later confirmed. Lucky us! So he's had a rough time of it. He's also come down with a cold and is battling that, so it's been almost two weeks that he's been a little or a lot under the weather.

We visited his school for an observation Monday, and it was a delight as usual to see the busy, orderly classroom and the children bustling around. Henry was playing blocks and dinosaurs when we got there, and the assistant teacher was anxious to tell us about the 'big work' he'd done right before we arrived. Then, at her urging, he got out the 'hundred board,' which I know he does frequently, and showed us how to do it, arranging all the tiles in order from 1 to 100. It's nice that his teachers want us to see what good work he's doing, but I'm not really concerned about that; I know he is driven and ambitious and as long as there is someone to teach him, he will learn. I was more pleased-- and surprised-- to see how well-behaved he was. Not in an ostentatious way, but he has clearly mastered the rules of the classroom. Another kid was pestering him, first to put his dinosaurs away (because that kid wanted to play with them) and then to allow him to 'help' Henry with the hundred board, but Henry was unflappable, just doing what he wanted to do (and what is the correct procedure for the class), saying "Nope" to the kid's help, and focusing on his work. When it was time to put work away and come to circle time, Henry put all the blocks away, sat down, and paid attention. Meanwhile, the class was a comedy of errors: tattling, spilling stuff, dropping prickly cactuses on each other... and one small boy was a real challenge to the workings of the class, getting into all kinds of mischief. I could see that although I might despair of Henry's contrarianism at home sometimes (he actually said yesterday: "I am NOT contrarian!"), he's doing great at school. Michael and I are always amazed at how popular he is; when we walk into the school with him, it's a chorus of "Hi, Henry!"s. At first I wondered if all children were greeted that way; Henry rarely even says hello or good-bye to us, so I didn't think he'd be so good at befriending other kids. But I guess he is! I think he might even be cool.

Milk, cookies, and coloring after school

Dress-up box

Agatha is doing great. She's talking a blue streak, says "Mommy," "Daddy," and "Aggie," (instead of Mama, Dada, Aga) and-- to my surprise!-- knows at least four colors: blue, green, pink, and white. I only realized this yesterday when she brought me a piece of clay, saying "green! green!" Her naps are lengthening out to a regular two hours. And she's pretty much eating all day long.

The top picture in this post shows Agatha with her favorite substance, baking soda. For some reason, she loves the stuff (to play with, not to eat!). I'm always trying to head her off from rifling through the baking drawer, looking for it, but a couple of days ago I just decided to let her go for it. What's a carton of baking soda and a little mess, after all? I gave her some scoops and bowls and let her at it. You've never seen such concentration; she worked on scooping and pouring for a long, long time.

Valentine's Day

Michael and I have spent most of Valentine's Day tag-teaming-- I went to yoga, he watched the kids; he went to yoga, I watched the kids; etc. Henry has come down with an odd illness; he has a headache and fever, but no other symptoms. I was worried until I talked to a friend of mine who had the exact same thing this past week, and got over it in two days; I hope that's the case for Henry. But besides hating to take his Tylenol, Henry is a darling sick patient; he colors, he dozes, he politely asks for peeled oranges and glasses of milk. I enjoy my chance to mother him more; when he's healthy he doesn't let me!

Agatha is equally lovable. I've decided to try to gradually wean her, so this week I'm just sticking to our three ingrained nursing moments per day (morning wake-up, before nap, and before bed). Those other times when she wants to nurse, when I know it isn't real hunger or thirst, I'm trying to replace the nursing with other kinds of snuggling. She loves it! She giggles and laughs and hugs and kisses me. So wonderful. She now refers to Henry as "Hen" and herself as "Aga," and she is talking pretty much continuously all day long. "Aga buttball, pa-pie, Dada!" means, "Daddy, will you please chew up a piece of dried papaya for me?" "Cut! cut!" she'll plead, pointing to a banana. "Aga peel!" And when I gave her the rare treat of ice cream tonight after dinner, she said, "More, pees!"

Yesterday morning we all went out to breakfast and then to the milk farm and then to the Target. After three days mostly snowbound, we were all so excited to get out; we just roamed the aisles of Target, ogling the merchandise. Henry picked out a large-size Star Wars coloring portfolio (the pages aren't bound) and has been working on that diligently since Saturday afternoon. He's been well enough to sit at his desk and color, on and off. Tonight when we tucked him in, even though he was feverish and sick, he told Michael that he couldn't wait to show him the work he did on Darth Vader's space ship. "Every day, I'm going to do my coloring every Friday, so I won't be available to do anything else, Mama," he said; this is Michael's habit of "Art Fridays" in his studio. Then he reconsidered; "What day is today?" Sunday. "Every day, I'm going to do my coloring every Monday, Mama." Guess he can't wait all the way till Friday!

This is what we've come to...

A week of snow days makes you a little crazy, I guess.

Digging out

Our pond is under there somewhere

Our car, and Henry next to the tree, atop the snow mountain

Mom's front steps; notice the snow is waist-high

It was a beautiful, sunshiny day today, and all of Lancaster was out in the street, digging. The second snow day in a row, because (I guess) the roads were impassable (so why not walk to school?). We hosted some friends this afternoon for playtime and wine, and it was very nice to see some other adults! It looks like we'll be back to normal tomorrow-- before the three-day weekend!

Snow, snow, snow

Icicles and snowdrifts

Our kitchen window, nearly blocked by snow.

This morning, after only about half of the new snow; Michael digging out.

Stay tuned for how it looks tomorrow, after a night of high winds and blowing snow!

Boys sledding

Snowapalooza! This is what it looked like this morning around 8:30 am, and it kept on snowing all day. I don't even know how deep it is now.

It takes a village

It's turned out (so far) being pretty great raising kids in the middle of a small but dense city. We thought it would be a big sacrifice for the kids not having a lot of nature to run around in, but so far at least the city has many compensations. For last few months I have let Henry play outside unsupervised. He's trustworthy, knows not to go into the street, and stays near our house if he's out front or plays in our backyard or that of our wonderful neighbors next door. This has been great for him; he spends hours outside doing all sorts of things. We also let him run ahead of us (or sometimes go all alone) to Gran's house; there are no streets to cross. Bad things could happen; he could be snatched by a bad guy, or a million other nightmares could occur. But I weigh those remote negatives against the evident positives of Henry's independence and freedom and self-confidence. A square block of 40 or so houses is vast universe for a small boy.

Two incidents in the last week have been cause for reflection. On Sunday, the phone rang and it was David, the guy who owns the hair salon and photo studio on the corner. He wanted to tell us that he was putting out a sign and closing his sidewalk because he was afraid of the potential for falling ice and snow from his roof. He wanted us to know because he often sees Henry running by his shop on the way to Gran's, and Henry knows he can't read! Then last week, about 3 in the afternoon on a sunny day, the doorbell rang and I could see it was a middle-school kid from the nearby school. I figured he were selling something for fund-raising, but instead he asked me, "Is your son playing outside?" He and his two friends rang the bell because they saw Henry and were concerned that he was maybe too young to be outside by himself and they were worried he might follow them home. One piped up, "He said that tree was his house!"

When incidents like these happen, my first instinct is to feel shame and embarrassment that these other people think I'm a bad mom (and when middle-school boys are concerned about your parenting, that's a bad sign!). But my second thought is to damp down those fears and instead feel gratitude for a community of people who care about my child. Maybe they think he should be inside, but what's most important is that they are watching out for him. I thanked those boys for their care and concern. It is pretty remarkable that they would ring a stranger's doorbell out of concern for another child. Bad things can always happen, and I don't feel 100% easy about my "free-range parenting." But I do feel proud of Henry's maturity, independence, and skills in navigating the world. And I feel good that so many people seem to watching out for him too.

Teething misery, and LOTS of snow

Doesn't she look miserable?

Well, she's sweet and smiling in this photo, but poor Agatha has had a rough three days bringing in her upper molars. Thursday she actually fell asleep on the living room floor, she was so wiped out, and while her night sleep has been fine, her naps have been messed up and she has been cranky and whiny and miserable. She barely ate yesterday, but thankfully by this afternoon she was clearly better. She ate well and was back to toddling around and getting into stuff like her old self (The past three days she barely allowed me to put her down. I had a lot of kinks to work out in yoga this morning!) When she woke up from her nap, I was nursing her and Michael and I were going over our coming week together, and she started to get upset and say, "car! car!" I thought she was hearing us and thinking one of us was going to leave, so I assured her that no one was going anywhere-- and she just got madder. I finally figured out that SHE wanted to go somewhere in the car. "Want to go to Lowe's?" Michael asked. "Loooow," she answered, reaching out to him. (Michael says she had a great time, and that when she was ready to go she said "Low, out!")

The reason Agatha was stir-crazy this afternoon is that we woke up to about a foot of snow on Saturday morning, and it just kept snowing right through the middle of the afternoon. Our second huge snowstorm of the year! The past few years we haven't had any storms like this, so Mom is really getting a nice welcome to Pennsylvania. It was a very well-behaved storm, though; gave plenty of warning and happened on a Friday night, leaving us plenty of time to dig out before Monday morning. It is beautiful, and Henry has had a great time in it.

Despite some crankiness with Agatha, we had a lovely weekend. Nothing like being snowed in to make you feel like you're on a little vacation; we watched an Elmo movie in the middle of the day and built a lego city in the middle of the living room. We made brownies and ate them all. And Henry learned to love his snowpants, which for a boy who only recently deigned to wear a coat, is quite a triumph!
Elmo-related postscript: the reason we went looking for Elmo on Netflix is that Agatha was gifted with an Elmo doll that sings and talks when you sit him on his little potty. Despite the fact that the batteries ran out almost immediately and Elmo no longer sings, she knows the "la la, la LA" Elmo song and sings it herself when she sees him or a potty.

Desultory blogging

Morning granola

I see that I only made 9 posts in January, the fewest of any month so far. Lazy! I'll try to be better. Things we've been doing: ordering seeds for the spring garden, and having the occasional wild rumpus...

Setting up a little play-kitchen area in the kitchen...

And making books about army battles. This one is from today (Henry informed us that this is the title page). He wrote the first two lines himself; altogether it reads "Henry Army Guys [RME GIS]; I did this at my house." He got confused about whether he was trying to say "I did it" or "I did this," and then he got frustrated and asked for me to spell the last phrase out for him. He sometimes wants to try to read books like Hop on Pop with us, but he generally doesn't want to do something until he's good at it, so I think he's working on reading quietly, on his own. I can hear the echo of his good teacher, Meghan, when he says things like "Mom, there's a silent S in this word; you can't hear it; we say [whatever] but it's spelled like..."

Michael and Henry also like to "play apes" (inspired by watching Planet of the Apes), which entails sneaking around with their nerf guns hiding from me until Agatha outs them. Agatha, meanwhile, just keeps getting more fun. She's said Dada for a long time, but now she more often says "da-ee" (Daddy) and says Mama frequently, too. Her sound for nursing has long been "liddle liddle," but now she'll say "Mama liddle liddle." She loves to say hi and bye-bye to people she meets, and has more words all the time, including "hot tea!" and "nut ball!"-- the latter is one of her favorite snacks, a pre-chewed ball of walnuts. Yum! (Actually, she says it more like "butt ball!") When she wants to eat, she says "bowl!" and when she wants more of something she holds out her bowl and says "peees?" Which is pretty much irresistible. (I credit her babysitter for teaching her this.) She also sometimes says "hat bowl" and then proceeds to dump her food over her head. We've gotten quicker about intervening as soon as she makes the announcement, and now she sometimes says "hat bowl" just to get a rise out of us. She still loves cats and birds, which she fluently names "caw caw," although now she also knows hummingbirds (by their picture) and likes to say "humming!" She also knows when she has two of something; if you give her a cracker she'll agitate for another one and then say, "two!"